Jeannette gets down on one knee and opens a small black velvet box. Inside is a white gold ring with a teardrop-shaped diamond. It was her mother’s.
Rodney, when we first met I knew what we had was going to be really special. Whether or not that was an amazingly supportive friendship or an even crazier love affair, I knew I would have a lifelong companion that would be by my side no matter what. Nobody could deny the sparks between us. When I first said I love you, which I admit was a little bit early, I still meant everything I said. You were quiet at first, (which I’m not going to lie made me a little bit nervous!), but you have never been much of a conversationalist anyways so I took it as a good sign. It was never a doubt in my mind from the very moment the words came out of my mouth. I want to be a better person when I am with you. If I’m being honest, I never even ate breakfast before we met, but you changed that. I doubt I will ever be close to as good as you are, simply because you are the best thing I know. These past three years have been the best of my life, and I know we are young, but I can’t stand the idea of spending the rest of this short time we have on earth without you. We’ll grow old together, and I promise I’ll take care of you. We can play Scrabble, (even though you always cheat!) and you can make me one of your famously delicious meals (I didn’t just fall in love with you ravishingly good looks!) and I am confident we will support each other through the test of time. So, Rodney, the love of my life, the moon to my stars, and the cheese to my crackers, will you make me the happiest woman in the world and marry me?
Two slices of bread, evenly toasted to a perfect golden brown of both sides pop out of the toaster.
He said yes!
Jeannette gingerly slides the ring on the heat adjustment knob on the toaster, thus confirming their engagement.
Dara Schenck is a student at the University of Colorado at Boulder where she is currently majoring in English with a concentration in Creative Writing, as well as minoring in Cinema Studies. Aside from being a student, Dara is a founder and editor of The Adjunct online humor magazine for trans ppl/femmes/& women. In her free time, Dara likes to run, tell jokes, and hang out with her pet rabbit, Ruthie.
Lead image: “Dualit Toaster” (via Flickr user brett Jordan)