photo of frowny face on statue

The Never-Ending Pursuit of Vinyl Siding by Eric Wilson-Edge

“I am unhappy because I am unsuccessful.” “No matter what they say, vinyl siding will need replacing.” “I really thought at this age I’d have vinyl siding.” “I love it because you never have to paint.” “I am unhappy because gas is so expensive.” “Have you tried expressing your frustration with exclamation points?” “?” “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”…

photo of group of buffalo

Manifest Destiny by Lisa Grove

I promised him buffalo. We left the deer in Michigan—twitches of tongue and fur in the roadside grass. The wind skins the plains of South Dakota, and we lick clean the pleiosaur bones. No buffalo. We wave to the Maserati Man, stopped for gas on the other side of Needle’s Eye, Wyoming. We enter the…

photo of man caressing the face of a Mark Twain statue

Defiling Monrovia by Eric Lawson

We began the afternoon drunk on our youthful vigor, emitting high-pitched howls of laughter recognition at our glorious in-jokes. We recited eulogies to the locals in the guise of long-forgotten commercial jingles and devoured the innuendo, so transparent. We imbibed glass after glass of top shelf wine, so necessary. We high-fived each other from across…

photo of man lighting a cigarette

Apophenia by Rich Dodgin

Apophenia – the experience of seeing meaningful patterns or connections in random or meaningless data I’d always wanted to be a secret agent, and I drove my parents insane with my constant spy games–running around pretending to shoot people, hiding in bushes to peer at the neighbours, speaking in Morse code…oh, and that time aged…

photo of creepy doll

Collectables by Emily Slaney

Don’t laugh, but standing guard around my bed there’s He-Man and Spiderman. Batman in his black suit, Batman in his grey suit, the Joker, Darth Vader and Chewbacca, plus anyone else I could find. Anyone else I could bear to sacrifice on the front line. They’re all armed to the teeth with plastic detachable accessories…

blue whale mural

Incidents on the Way to Work by Jason E. Rolfe

Evolutionary Thought On the way to work Friday morning a friend of mine passed a medium-sized blue whale. The whale was sitting on a bench waiting for the number three bus. He was also reading Charles Darwin. “I don’t believe it,” my friend said. “What?” replied the whale. “Like you’ve never seen a medium-sized blue…

copy of "When A Girl Is A Teaser" Published in November 1952

Three Flash by Meg Johnson

Ladies, Call Now Welcome to the Yes-these-really-are-your-options Hotline. Press 1 if you’d like a tattoo artist wearing a gold chain and swim trunks to make a move on you in a hot tub as he chews on a toothpick… Press 2 if you’d like men who write scholarly articles to fight over you, but only…

photo of business end of a gun

Three Poems by Nancy Lynée Woo

Blues and Greens We speak of the most intimate barbs in low growls. Chicken wire poking out of my throat, blue today but going back to green, there is a tiny laughing Buddha jumping on my chest. Sometimes, he is only an angler fish and I have swum too deep. There are no women allowed here. Back…